Zexion's diary
by ValeurStories
Summary: Zexion lost the love of his life a long time ago, and have tried a new way to get the pain out of his system. Writing. But soon something else appears who might be able to remove his sorrow much more than blank paper.
1. Meeting the Guy Next Door

**hey. I read through this story again and pretty much winced in my chair, so I rewrote it. **

**Hope you'll like. :D**

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><p><span>Chapter 1<span>

Zexion's fingers gently put the pen to the paper. He had been advised by his guidance counselor to write a diary, you know, get all his thoughts out, so he tried. He pressed the pen against the paper and let the ink sink a little into the paper, before he began.

#_#_#_#

_November 3._

_Dear Diary... (That's so cheesy)_

_I have not been myself lately, I found myself wanting to cry for no reason, which is not the normal me. No one comes to help me, and I don't ask them. _

_I have starting to cut myself, the crimson drops helps me remember that I'm alive. _

_As my eyes begin to close and I start to drift, I start wondering, I know it might all end tonight, but it never does. I just wake up to the blood, stains on my sheets and my pillow wet from tears. Then I get up and out of bed to go to school. I look in the mirror and think about how pathetic I am, I mean, I cut, cry and don't interact with people, how lost can you be? This was the last thing he would have wanted… but…_

_#_#_#_#_

This was stupid! It sounded even more stupid when he wrote it down. He closed the diary with a violent swipe of his hand and sighed deeply. He rubbed his temples… Then he picked it up again and continued writing.

#_#_#_#

_... The seat he used to fill is now so empty._

_I looked at his yesterday and of course I started to cry. I just forget all the things he asked me to do, and fall back into self-pity. Because I'm weak. I know I am, but I still get reminded everyday in school. _

_My eyes are full of tears once again and my arm is full of scars, because when I think of him I start to cry and hurt myself. I'm stupid… I remember our last day together. I'm going to write it down. I don't know why, because it will make me sad to remember, but whatever. _

_We went to the park. I remember laughing while we walked. He seemed totally fine as his pink hair moved in the wind. Marluxia. His bright face always smiled at me and I felt more happiness than I thought I could contain. My arms were clear then. No scars. I had the same family problems as now, I was still bullied in school, ignored and pitied, but I had him. So I kept going._

"_Stand up for yourself," Marluxia said with a sad face when we parted that day. "Don't let anyone tell you that you're not perfect, because you will always be."_

_You said things like that all the time, but this time seemed different. It was not a cute couple-line. You're voice was more serious. I told you "okay." _

_A fucking "okay". Now, I wished I had said something else. Questioned the expression that was so unfamiliar… but I didn't. _

_You smiled down at me and patted my head before you headed home. Why didn't I see it? Why was I so blind? Why didn't I follow you?_

_The following day there was a knock on my door. Next thing I know your sister is there, telling me that you had committed suicide. I broke straight down that day. _

_So right now I am on my bed with my razor in hand. Feeling pathetic. Ignoring your last words._

_#_#_#_#_

Zexion made a period and closed the diary slowly. He looked at the clock: Time for school. He had lied about the razor-part, but he felt like that gave the story a good final touch.

The truth was that he hadn't harmed himself in a while. Just, when Marluxia died it had been easier – almost soothing (yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking: _creepy_! But it was true), but after a while, he had become respectful of the pain once again and did it less. Still too much, according to his doctor, but much less than in the beginning.

He locked his door with his small metal key and remembered to give it an extra hard pull to close it properly.

"Are you sure you got everything!" A female yelled from the apartment next door. Zexion turned his head in surprise when the neighbor door opened. No one had lived in the apartment next to him for years – had someone really moved into this _craphole_ of a block?

"Yeah, I got it!" a younger voice answered cheerfully. In that moment a tall boy ran out of the door. He was insanely tall and his hair was almost going against the laws of gravity with its spikes going straight to the sky. A pair of headphones covered his ears; the music was floating out of them, meaning that he would probably have a hearing problem in the future. He had a piece of buttered toast in his mouth. "See you later, mom!" the boy called over his shoulder. Waving to the doorway.

Zexion figured out too late that he was in the boy's way. The boy that was too busy jamming to his loud music bumped into Zexion with his shoulder, shoving him into the wall. The short boy gasped in shock and regained balance.

"Huh! Oh, man! I'm so sorry," the boy spat and pulled his headphones down the neck with a quick movement. "Did I hurt you?"

Zexion had no idea this accident, and this boy, would change his life drastically.

_Hell yeah! Watch were you're going. _"No." Zexion said and gave him a glare from his one visible eye; the other one was hidden under his bang. The boy laughed hesitantly and scratched his cheek.

"That's good… hey, do you live in there?" the boy asked and pointed at his apartment with a thumb. Zexion made a small nod, keeping his face free of expression.

"Zexion Ienzo," The boy said and smirked.

"How did you-" Zexion began flustered.

"I'm a stalker," the boy grinned and winked. Zexion took a step back, which just made the tall boy break out in laughter. "_That_ and the fact that it's written on your door."

Zexion felt stupid and hurried to cough in his hand. He wanted nothing more than to walk past this idiotic person and get to school – but the tall boy was clearly not done talking.

"I'm Demyx," he said and held a hand stretched toward Zexion. The lilac-haired boy stared at it for a second, then he hesitantly put his own in the other boy's. "Very nice to meet you." Demyx immediately said and shook his hand.

"You too. Sorry, but I need to get to school," Zexion said quietly and hurried to pull his hand back. Demyx stood with his hand outstretched for a second. Then he let it drop and tilted his head teasingly.

"I feel rejected," He spoke and faked a hurt expression, but then he smiled. "Sorry, I'm giving you a hard time, aren't I?"

"T-that-" Zexion began, but stopped himself. The tall boy grinned.

"What school do you go to?" Demyx asked and Zexion almost groaned when Demyx started walking alongside him down the stairs. This guy was a real _talker - _notice that _talker_ is closely related to _stalker_, just less creepy.

"Hearts Academy," Zexion murmured.

"That's funny, me too!" Demyx said cheerfully.

_Yeah, of course you do with my luck, that's just brilliant. _Please,_ don't bother hanging out with me _"That's nice," Zexion said and suppressed his real thoughts.

"I'm starting today," he announced and Zexion sensed a life story coming up. "Me and my parents are traveling around, so there's no guarantee how long we'll stay this time, but I get to meet a lot of new people…"

_Gosh, this guy talks too much, _Zexion thought and looked at the sky with soft eyes. The clouds were turning dark. It was probably going to rain. He would have to stop by the supermarket before the rain started. What did he need … um… milk, eggs…

"Are you listening to me?" Demyx asked and knocked lightly on Zexion head, "Hal-_lo_!"

"W-what?" Zexion stuttered, taken off guard, and put a hand on his head where Demyx had just touched him.

"Never mind," Demyx murmured. "I sense that you don't like a lot of talk."

_Good job! Give this kid a cookie _"I guess," Zexion said quietly.

"Fine, I can be quiet," Demyx said and zipped his mouth with an invisible zipper.

_Don't strain yourself, _Zexion thought, but didn't say anything. They walked for a moment in silence. More than once Demyx opened his mouth to talk, but then remembered his own promise and closed it again.

"You know-" Demyx slipped and covered his mouth with both hands. Zexion moaned. He had only just met the boy, but he already knew that he was a bother.

"Just talk," The slate said and waved a hand toward him. "I don't mind."

"Sorry." Demyx mumbled timidly. Zexion rolled his eyes and put his hands in the pockets. It was starting to get cold outside; maybe he should buy a new jacket. "I don't really like silence to be honest," Demyx told the other boy. "I like talk, music and sound."

"I see. We're the complete opposites then," Zexion told him.

"Don't say that, I'm sure we have a lot in common. For starters, we live in the same building, we go to the same school- hey, Zexion?"

"What?"

"Can I cut your hair?" he begged and Zexion turned his head toward the boy in pure surprise. That had come out of nowhere.

"I just met you!" the short boy said with a shocked voice.

"But your half-_blind,_" Demyx said with a tiny voice, and lifted Zexion's bang with one finger. Zexion took a step back and pushed his hand away.

"My hair is none of your business!" Zexion snapped.

"Can I just trim it?"

"No!"

"Three small cuts?"

"No!"

"One cut? Just the bang."

"Absolutely no!"

"Come on!" Demyx said pleading, but Zexion shook his head and took a step away from him so there were a bigger gab, but Demyx just stepped the same way. "Pleeease."

"One more word about my hair, and I'm going to cut _your hair _off in your sleep!" Zexion threatened and Demyx's lips split in a smile.

"What? You don't think I would look hot,_ bold_?" Demyx asked and smirked wider. Zexion's mouth pulled in a tiny smile too and he tried to stop it, but a small chuckle escaped him.

"Huh?" Demyx said and blocked Zexion's way. "Are you mocking me?"

"N-no," Zexion said and covered his mouth with a hand to stop his chuckles. Demyx brightened when he saw Zexion's amused eyes and _"victory" _was written all over his face.

Then it happened.

Something cold and sticky hit the back of Zexion's head and made him gasp out in surprise, the smile was instantly gone. A small shell cracked against his head and lumpy liquid ran down his neck. Demyx's expression twisted in shock.

A cry of laughter sounded, while a car drove by. Zexion turned his head after the car. His expression had gone back to cold again. His eyes scanned the car to see the enemy, but it was just the usual: Larxene (driving and laughing), Xaldin (holding a bunch of eggs in his arms) and Luxord (throwing the eggs).

He felt the back of his head with his fingertips and looked at the mess. His fingers were covered in undone egg. Disgusting. He looked up.

"Are you okay?" Demyx asked and his eyes shone with concern. The blonde reached out to take some of the egg out of his hair, but Zexion stepped out of his range. He was so embarrassed. He didn't know why it even mattered, but it did! Demyx was the first person he had been on friendly terms with in… who knows how long… and now here he was: Eggs in the back of his head, like a loser.

"S-School is just ahead and to the right… where that car turned," Zexion uttered and lifted a shaking finger toward the school. Demyx opened his mouth, but Zexion cut him off. "I'll just go home and change. Don't worry about me… it happens all the time."

"All the time?" Demyx said disbelieving. "Zexion! Wait a second!" he yelled, but Zexion had already spun around and headed home.

#_#_#_#

_Dear Diary_

_Today I met a new guy, he just moved in next door. _

_He was very nice to me. His name is Demyx. He's nice, polite, talks a lot and… I hope I never see him again._


	2. Open Wounds

Chapter 2

Zexion sat up in his bed, his hair sticking out in seven different directions. When he shook his head his bang fell back into his eye and he sighed - maybe Demyx had been right about cutting it. No! No! It was way to early to think about that pest.

He turned his head lazily and looked at his alarm clock. 5:30. Damn, why was he awake? It was Saturday.

Then a loud sound of music echoed through the wall. The small boy made a small jump in his bed. That sound most have been what waked him. He turned his head and stared at the wall. It was from Demyx apartment.

Another loud blast of music!

He groaned and fell back into his covers, - throwing his blankets over his face - but the music still blasted from next door.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut _up_!" Zexion yelled under his blankets, but the music just kept playing.

He opened his Diary and in anger he wrote with big capital letters all over a page "_I HATE DEMYX_!", before he stumbled out of bed and yanked a pair of jeans on and staggered sleepily out of the door to the empty hallway.

He knocked on Demyx door - or rather, slammed his fists at the door.

"Demyx! It's not even six in the morning!_ Demyx_!" He yelled angrily and clenched his fists down the sides of his body. The music stopped and he heard a lot of stuff getting thrown around and then running steps toward the door.

"What? What?" Demyx asked and yanked the door open. His eyes were shining with excitement, and he seemed to be out of breath, fully dressed and hair already styled in the mullet-mohawk-whatever-style. H_ad he been jumping around while playing? Gezz! It didn't even matter_.

Demyx eyes brightened when he saw who it was, but then his eyes ran up and down the shorter boy's body and had to suppress a laugh.

Zexion was confused at first, but then realized he was standing in his blue pajamas with a terrible bed-head. He flushed embarrassed, but shook it off quickly.

"I'm trying to sleep!" Zexion said, tired and annoyed.

"Oh, you heard?" Demyx grinned and scratched the back of his head.

"Ya think?" Zexion said and let his voice drip with sarcasm. Demyx chuckled and shrugged.

"Sorry, my mom is out of town, so it's just me and I couldn't sleep."

'_Funny, I had that problem too!' _Zexion thought, but kept his mouth shut. Demyx gestured inside, but Zexion immediately backed away.

"No thank you," he said rejecting and turned to leave, but Demyx grabbed his arm. "What do you want?" Zexion exclaimed surprised and flinched by the touch.

Demyx' eyes had turned serious.

"I wanted to ask you about yesterday," The teen explained with steady voice. "I talked with a few people at school and ... I heard you are usually picked on."

"None of your concern," Zexion said and clenched his jaw. How dared this boy dig into his private business? He never asked for help and never would - and especially not from this troublesome, hyper, overexcited, loud-music-playing teen.

"If you ever need anything-"

"Yeah, thank you, but I don't need _anything_ from you," Zexion snapped, partly because he was tired and annoyed - and partly because he really didn't want to let anyone into his head at the moment. Marluxia's death was still lingering in his mind.

"I have been through stuff too," Demyx said and suddenly looked ten years older. Zexion winced slightly, but then he just gave him a scowl and turned to walk back into his apartment. He hesitated at the door-handle when Demyx spoke again.

"Sometimes you put walls up, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down."

"I guess my walls are just too thick to be broken," Zexion murmured and walked into his apartment.

#_#_#_#

Dear Diary

_Demyx have a way to make his words into small needles that goes into your brain and poke around, but I won't let anyone into my life. Marluxia is still in my head like a ghost, I miss him. Demyx thinks he knows me! He just met me for gods sake! What does he knows? Why does he even care! And why do I even waste my time writing about the idiot? Demyx is just so..._

_#_#_#_#_

Zexion played with the pen and thought about it. Why _did_ he write so much about Demyx? He shouldn't think so much about him. From now on he would _not _write ONE word about Demyx again! He nodded to himself in a silent agreement and pressed the pen to the paper.

Then it hit him.

What the hell was he then suppose to write about?

Hell broke lose when he decided to get some groceries.

Zexion had pulled his scarf halfway up his face to keep the cold out and buttoned his jacket all the way to the top. The wind came from all directions and made his hair blow into his face with such force that he was sure it would leave small bruises eventually.

Then the voice he hated the most in the whole world broke through the screaming wind.

"Isn't that the little emo-midget?" Luxord's smooth voice sounded and three options immediately ran through Zexion's mind:

a) Run away - _probably pointless_.

b) Keep cool and face the teen with an expressionless face- _hoping he was in a good mood and wouldn't be provoked by that._

c) Ignore him and hope he left - _yeah right_.

He was tempted to pick #a, but then he felt Luxord's big palm fall as a rock on his shoulder and trapped him instantly. He immediately picked #b and gave him one of his "What-the-hell-do-you-want-" glares. (Had absolutely no effect, darn!)

"I didn't see you at school yesterday," he said with fake concern, which made Zexion want to puke.

"I decided to stay home, since you were in school," Zexion said with the iciest voice he could find. He had, over time, learned to stay cool in situations like this, even when if he was doomed.

"That was not very nice," Luxord said and smirked. "Keep those nasty comments for your boyfriend." Zexion's eyes flickered shocked, but he hurried to pull his mask back on.

"What are you talking about?" Zexion asked and his scarf fell from his face so his whole face was exposed. Luxord immediately saw an opportunity for cutting the shorter teen down.

"I'm talking about the new kid, Demyx, who you so kindly walked to school- well, halfway," Luxord teased, then added. "Before you ran home crying of course."

_'I did NOT cry! You big fat jerk!' _"We are just neighbors," Zexion just said with a shrug. Keeping his face calm and indifferent.

"Ah-_ha_," Luxord said and didn't look convinced. Zexion turned and continued walking – mentally groaning, when he heard Luxord's steps fall into his pace. "You know, my friend, you can really tell me anything." he said and put his arm around Zexion's shoulders. Zexion crumbled a little, but tried not to look too disgusted.

"I almost forgot," Luxord said and tightened his hold around Zexion. "I have a present for you. Two actually, aren't you lucky?"

"No thanks!" Zexion said a little too quickly. Luxord laughed mockingly and Zexion cursed himself inside his head.

"Zexion, Zexion, always_ so_ modest, but I insist," he said and reached down his pocket with the hand he didn't have wrapped around Zexion.

"The first gift is this," he waved a picture by his eyes.

Zexion forgot all about his barrier. He forgot to look indifferent and cool. He felt his eyes wide in horror and if Luxord hadn't had his hands tightly around his shoulders he would have dropped to the ground.

He wanted to look away, but his eyes were as glued to the picture.

It was Marluxia. Lying on the floor. Bleeding from his wrists. Eyes blank and with no light.

"Remember that my parents are cops? They found him. Poor guy killed himself. _I heard_ you two had a thing and thought I would show you how pathetic he really was," Luxord whispered and smirked when his words had the wanted effect. "Look he managed to cut himself. So. Many. Times. He most have been in a lot of pain - don't you wish he had had someone close to him? Maybe a boyfri- oh wait… that was _you_, right? Too bad he didn't love you enough to stay alive."

Zexion didn't say anything and with a poor attempt to hold them back, a fresh set of tears fell down his cheeks. He hated it! He hated looking weak in front of Luxord, or anyone else for that matter; it would only be used against him later on.

He managed to bend his head forward and tried to wipe the picture out of his memory. Mission impossible.

A drop of water fell on his forehead and he clenched his hands. Rain? Luxord let go of his shoulders and let him drop to the ground with a surprised gasp. He let out a groan when he hit the ground and ended on all four. He hurried to his knees and looked at his hands that had gotten filled with dirt.

"You should have stopped it Zexion," Luxord said and to Zexion's surprise his voice was cold and serious - not the usual teasing tone. He looked up and met Luxord's eyes, full of hate. "You could have saved him."

"Wha-?" Zexion began, but choked on the word. Luxord laughed mockingly.

"He was my best friend... and you couldn't save him," Luxord said hateful and reached down his pocket. "You were suppose to take care of him!" he was louder now and Zexion flickered in horror. Luxord had pulled a razor from his belt and pointed the blade toward Zexion's forehead. "I left him in your care, because he said he_ loved you_! But you... you... let him **die**!"

He threw the razor by Zexion's feet. Zexion stared at the shining blade.

"Why don't you just kill yourself?" Luxord asked, his voice almost a whisper. "That's my second gift. It was expensive, but whatever."

_Idiot. Didn't he know that a knife was much better for cutting? A razor gave a weird pain. A knife was preferable. _

Zexion looked at the knife with sad eyes. His hands shaking slightly and he tried to steady them, but failed. Luxord turned and walked away. Zexion didn't move. He closed his eyes and tried to steady his breathings.

_Your fault... _my fault_... You could have stopped it Zexion... you let him die... _My fault... it's my entire fault.

The rain soaked into the boy's clothes and he felt all his limbs turn weak as he sat. He let his limbs collapse and hit the wet ground with a wet thud. He was too mentally exhausted to move anywhere. He closed his eyes and fainted.

"Zexion? Is that you?" a stunned voice asked and suddenly the rain didn't hit him anymore. He opened his eyes... had he passed out? He felt more cold and wet than before, so it was definitely a possibility. He could hear the hard drops of water hit something plastic above his head.

He looked up weakly and stared into a bright green umbrella and ... a shocked face.

Demyx?

He looked absolutely horrified. A look that Zexion hadn't thought the cheerful boy could have managed.

"Oh my god! What happened to you?" Demyx asked with a breathless voice. His umbrella fell out of his hands when he almost fell to his knees beside Zexion. His eyes fell on the knife. "Are you hurt?"

'_Define hurt,_' Zexion thought, but just shook his head slowly.

"Don't move," Demyx demanded and carefully put his hands under Zexion's small body. Normally he would have screamed and struggled in protest, but he was simply too... exhausted.

He felt Demyx lift his body, bridal style, and then his mind turned very blurry. He could feel Demyx slender muscles move under him as they ran down the wet street.

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><p><strong>Please review your thoughts. : D<strong>


	3. Pity or Worry

Chapter 3

Zexions eyes fluttered open as he gasped out in shock. His face was dripping with sweat and he hid his face with both hands, trying to control his breathing.

"Zexy?" a soft voice whispered and he almost spit his heart out in shock. "Shh, it's just me." The voice said, slightly teasing. Zexion felt a hesitant hand touch his hair and flung backwards. It was too dark to see anything, so he just stumbled to the floor when he reached the edge of the bed.

"Zexy, calm down!" Demyx spat, stunned. The light was turned on and Zexion finally got a good look around. This was not his apartment, but it was constructed the same way. This had to be Demyx apartment next door. It was nothing like his. It was just a bed placed in the middle and stuff thrown all over the place. A sitar rested against the wall, but that seemed like the only thing he had bothered placing neatly.

The slate-haired teen panted a little, but slowly calmed himself. He had had a nightmare, one of many. He didn't even want to think about them right now. Suddenly he froze and looked up. He had almost forgotten that Demyx was staring at him. How pathetic could he appear?

"S-sorry, I-" he began, but no words could make his previous act sound sane, so he just looked down and let his bang fall down his face in shame.

"Zexy, It's okay," Demyx reassured with a calming voice and swung his legs over the bed to walk to his side. The smaller boy immediately staggered to his feet, not wanting any pity.

"I'm fine. I'm going home… now," he whispered and headed for the door.

"W-what?" Demyx began, flustered.

He couldn't tell Demyx, but his wounds had been opened – not physically, but mentally – and it was time to find his old knife once again. It was the only thing that helped.

"I'm fine," he repeated and bolted for the door, but Demyx legs were much longer and won by a mile. Zexion also noticed that he was wearing blue PJ's with … bubbles?

"I don't think you are," Demyx said, crossing his arms and suddenly sounding a lot like demanding brother. "And I want you to tell me what happened before I found you on the street. It's okay you can tell me." Demyx wanted to hold the younger boy close so bad, but he also wanted to keep his fingers, so he just stood back.

"Sorry, I don't do chick-flick moments," Zexion whispered darkly and tried to get past Demyx by punching him in the side with his shoulder. And he _did_ move, but the shorter boy only got halfway out the door before Demyx had grabbed his wrist and yanked his back.

"I won't let you go," the taller teen said, biting his lip. "I feel like crap every time I let you go and don't know what you're doing. My best friend self-harmed for _so_ long, and I didn't do anything, because he would always say the two words, _I'm fine_." He said the last words like they were swearwords.

Zexion didn't answer and Demyx read his silence with stunned eyes.

"Y-you're kidding, right? _You_ hurt yourself too?" he spat, now tightening his hand around his wrist. Zexion winced slightly, but didn't protest. He held his mask in place; not even blinking while Demyx measured him. "Damn it, now I _really_ can't let you go."

That was it. Zexion ribbed his arm out of Demyx' with so much force that he almost fell backwards, staggering back into the apartment.

"It's none of your fucking business!" he yelled out. Demyx let out a fake laughter and closed the door behind him.

"It certainly is. I'm involved now. I can't just sit back and watch you hurt yourself… that would be gross by the way," Demyx mumbled and made a face. Zexion knew he tried to loosen up the mood, but he was just getting more irritated.

"Let. Me. Out!" he demanded with a threatening voice. Demyx shook his head, still with crossed arms and was back to stubborn-child mode.

"No, you're moving in with me now," he said with a determined expression. "I just decided that."

"Guess what, I'm not!" Zexion said irritated and crossed his arms, mimicking Demyx position. "Actually I wouldn't move in with you, if you had the last apartment in the world!"

Demyx pouted. "That's so mean, Zexy."

"Don't call me that!"

"That's so mean… Zex?"

"NO!" he spat and rubbed his head. "That sounds even more wrong."

"Um… Z?"

"No! Zexion! Z-e-x-i-o-n! Zexion!" he yelled and stamped his foot in the ground. He was so pissed that even this stupid nickname was pushing his buttons. He couldn't remember being so angry in a long time; maybe he just needed to get everything out.

"Hmm, I'll stick to Zexy," Demyx decided.

"Would you like it if I called you Demy?" Zexion asked angrily and pointed a threatening finger at him, but Demyx just smiled back happily.

"I would _love_ that, Zexy!" He said with a grin.

"You're… ARGH!" Zexion screamed, frustrated, and flung his hands in the air helplessly. "Let me out! We have school tomorrow, I have homework!"

"Hmm, okay then, I'll go with you. Then we can pack your stuff too," Demyx decided and finally opened the door. Zexion flew out the door, getting in front of Demyx and clinging to his door.

"No! Go back!" he demanded, sounding like he was talking to a dog that had accidentally followed him home. "Go home, Demyx!"

"Aw, I thought you were going to call me Demy. And I'm not going home, face it, I am just as stubborn as you are, Zexy," he smiled smugly and leaned toward the doorway, patiently waiting for Zexion to open the door.

"What if I promise to pack my things?" Zexion tried with a tired voice. "Will you then, please, please, let me have a few minuets?"

Demyx thought about that for a little while, then he nodded. "Fine, you have 15 minuets," he began and Zexion sighed relieved. If Demyx actually thought he was going to pack he had to be crazy. He just needed to get inside his apartment and lock the door.

He found his key – luckily it hadn't fallen out of his pocket as he was carried earlier. He fumbling started opening the door. When the door clicked Demyx snatched the key out of his hand.

"Hey! Give that back!" Zexion yelled.

"What? I need reassuring that I can get back in," Demyx murmured innocently and before Zexion could protest he added. "Hurry, your 15 minuets start now."

"Bloody… bastard," was the only thing that came to his mind as he walked into the apartment. He knew Demyx had stolen his key, but he locked the door anyway. He narrowed his eyes when he heard the teen chuckle on the other side if the door - he was enjoying this, that bastard!

He sighed deeply and closed his eyes. The quiet room seemed refreshing after being tormented by the speed-talking teen. Why did he care so much anyway? It was not like they were friends, or had even known each other for a long time. They were just two people. Two very _very_ different people.

_Dear Diary_

_I swore I would never write about Demyx again, but he has become a bigger pain than ever. Can you believe he stole my key? And he has the delusional idea that I'm going to move in with him. _

_I also met Luxord earlier and he was a prick like always. _

_I haven't wanted to hurt myself for a long time, but suddenly I want to again. I most be insane, but it actually helps me calm down. _

Zexion sighed and tapped the pen at the desk in wonder. It was a strange thing to write these sorts of things down. Even stranger to read them afterwards.

He still had plenty of time before Demyx came back. He looked over at his bed, that's were he hid his knife, under the pillow.

He put the pen down with a sigh and wandered to his bed. His knife was where he had left it, but the blade had become slightly dull, but still usable. It was dangerous to use a dull knife, he knew that, but he didn't care at the moment.

With the knife in his hand he walked with slow steps into the bathroom. He hurried to lock the door behind him, at least Demyx didn't have a key to that one.

He sighed, for the zillionth time that day, and almost as quickly as he could blink, he had the knife out and was ready to draw it across his wrist.

But he felt guilty, because Demyx was worried about him.

He thought about that, and he realized that he couldn't remember a time when somebody else worried about his safety, or him as a person, not since Marluxia was here, and he smiled. But suddenly, the insults from Luxord, the picture and the eggs thrown from the car, came flooding back to his mind, covering Demyx's kind words with their words of hate.

He pressed the blade down, further than he meant to, but he still pulled it across. The short boy felt a pang of guilt as he pictured Demyx's face, ever smiling, and hearing his words replay themselves in my head.

"_No, you're moving in with me now," ... "I just decided that." _

Zexion felt a single tear find its way to my eye and roll down my cheek. And then a choked sob before his vision went blurry from tears.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Finally I'm getting started on this story again. Thanks for all the awesome reviews, every review makes Zexion's smile a little brighter. : D

KingdomHeartsLoverLovesYou, You're so much the one that got me going. Thanks. ^_^/


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